Hot Foreplay with a Sexual Massage

Are you looking for a hot foreplay? Something to really turn on the heat in the bedroom? A good sexual massage makes for a very hot foreplay! There are ways to do a sexual massage. The most important thing is to really tease your partner while giving it.

To give you some specific ideas though, I can't think of anyone better than Gabrielle Moore! She is the author of both Turn Her On Faster and Female Orgasm Secrets Revealed, and many more. She is my absolute favorite foreplay expert! Here is a great article by her:

SEXUAL MASSAGE TECHNIQUES

by Gabrielle Moore
A sexual massage is just something I LOVE to receive from my partner. It always relaxes my body and my mind, and never fails to stir my center till I’m all wet and ready to have mind-blowing sex!I’m sure you want your woman to feel this too so I’m going to give you some basic sexual massage moves you can do tonight. Ready?

How to Give Your Woman a Sexual Massage
In addition to ensuring that you have the right environment (i.e., a quiet room, a well-laid out bed or place on the floor, etc.) and equipment (e.g. scented candles, massage oils, etc.), consider making use of fabric or items made of silk, satin and velvet as well. All these different textures can help bring about different reactions from her. If you don’t have them, don’t worry. Nothing can beat the best part of this sexual massage session: you!

Firstly, ask your woman to undress (or better yet, undress her). Another tip here to ensure good hygiene is to give her a warm bath first. Either way, once she’s nude, have her lie face down on the area you prepared for the massage. While she has her back to you, undress as well.
To learn more tips about how to really turn on your lover tonight, go to Turn Her On Faster.


Use your hot breath
Make sure your body and hands are not cold and then lie on top of her (you facing the back of her head). Support your weight on your arms (don’t crush her!). This move does three things: it signals the start of the sexual massage by applying pressure on her whole body; it helps to warm her body and prepare it for the massage; and it starts to introduce sexual thoughts into her head because she can feel your penis between her thighs.

Now don’t get carried away here and start sex. Proceed with the sexual massage and you will be rewarded as the sexual tension builds up!
Now, start to breathe on her neck and her back. Your hot breath should stimulate her sensitive skin.

Use your fingertips
Now, pull yourself up and straddle her thighs (your penis resting between the backs of her legs), put some warm oil on your hands and start to massage her back with just your fingertips. Alternate your strokes. Apply hard, pressured ones with light touches.

Palm circling
Progress from using your fingers to ‘palm circling’, which is basically massaging her back by applying the whole width of your hand. This is a firmer technique that helps her body really relax. As a general rule, never massage her on the bones. Place the palms of both your hands on her back and move them in circles, firmly outward and away from her spine.


Gliding
Scoot yourself lower down her body. You buttocks should be by her feet now. Now reach to the top of her shoulders and start doing the palm circling massage… but this time, glide down to her ass and start massaging there too. After a few strokes, you can be naughtier with this one.Reach to the top of her shoulders again, but this time keep your head low so that your face is right in front of her ass. (Like kneeling and bowing to someone.) You can do the palm circling again while breathing hot and heavy against her ass.
A slight – and naughtier variation – would be to lick her ass instead of breathing your hot breathe on it WHILE palm circling her back. (Hey, don’t forget the massage part even while you’re busy sexually arousing her.).

Thumbing
Go back to straddling her thighs, sitting up now, and use your thumbs to massage her lower back. You should make short, rapid, alternate strokes with each thumb, moving up and across her ass toward her waist. Continue up the right-hand side of her body all the way to the shoulders. Repeat this on the left side of her body and finish off by going back and concentrating again on her lower back (just above her butt).
Now for the sexual part… continue to thumb massage her while your hands move slowly down her butt. Part her crack and start to thumb massage her anus. She will try to squirm here but be firm! If she can take it, alternate between this massage and breathing your hot breathe on her anus.
Repeat all these back massages as long as you want! Just remember to oil up often as the warm oil and the gliding effect of your skin on hers does a lot of sexual magic!


What can I say? If that is not a HOT foreplay, then I don’t know what is! I hope you love it as much as I do. If you have any great tips for other hot foreplay ideas that you would like to share, please let me know. Feel free to tell me about your experience using these sexual massage techniques. I would love to hear from you!

 http://www.good-romantic-ideas.com

5 Consejos que te harán vibrar de placer

Una vez que se identificó la capacidad multi orgásmica en la mujer, las expectativas sexuales aumentaron exponencialmente. Tanto los hombres como nosotras mismas, deseamos experimentar más placer, orgasmos más intensos y disfrutar con cada parte del cuerpo que pueda estimularse.

Si te sientes identificada con este grupo de personas, no dejes de probar estos sexys consejos en tu próxima relación sexual:

1-Antes de un nuevo encuentro erótico busca, estimula e identifica al menos dos zonas erógenas nuevas que deseas que tu pareja estimule. Toda la piel esta colmada de terminaciones nerviosas; así que no hay excusas, ubica las áreas que más morbo te generan, y fantasea con el tipo de estimulación que le pedirás a tu pareja.

2-Cuando estén a punto de lanzarse en la cama para comenzar la acción sexual, cambia el escenario ofreciendo nuevos muebles, sillas, mesas, y hasta diferentes espacios en la casa donde puedan disfrutar probando nuevas posiciones. Si resulta que solo tienen disponible la habitación, diviértanse un rato en el piso antes de subir a la zona de confort.

3-Prepárate para tu próxima sesión de cunnilingus depilándote totalmente. Además de maximizar la sensibilidad en esta área, puedes ofrecer mayor estímulo visual a tu pareja; ya que podrá percibir detalladamente cada parte de tu genital.

4-Ofrécele una felación a tu pareja aprovechando las bondades que ofrece la posición del 69. Aunque la descripción explica que ambos se dediquen a ofrecerse sexo oral, puedes negociar variar su retribución estimulando manualmente tu clítoris, o usando un mini vibrador para generar un poco más de emoción; mientras tú te dedicas a estimular su pene con la boca.

5-Deja que tu pareja te inmovilice atando tus manos, y pies. Además, puedes vendar tus ojos para aumentar mucho más los niveles de excitación y el suspenso mientras te estimula; recuerda siempre que suprimes un sentido los demás se activan…, entonces aprovecha este momento de sumisión, para potenciar el efecto de las caricias que tu pareja decida ofrecerte usando tu imaginación.

 Escrito por:
Amor Antúnez

Kegel exercises: A how-to guide for women

Kegel exercises can help you prevent or control urinary incontinence and other pelvic floor problems. Here's a step-by-step guide to doing Kegel exercises correctly.

Kegel exercises strengthen the pelvic floor muscles, which support the uterus, bladder and bowel. You can do Kegel exercises discreetly just about anytime, whether you're driving in your car, sitting at your desk or relaxing on the couch. You can even do Kegel exercises when you're pregnant. Start by understanding what Kegel exercises can do for you — then follow step-by-step instructions for contracting and relaxing your pelvic floor muscles.

 Why Kegel exercises matter

Many factors can weaken your pelvic floor muscles, from pregnancy and childbirth to aging and being overweight. This may allow your pelvic organs to descend and bulge into your vagina — a condition known as pelvic organ prolapse. The effects of pelvic organ prolapse range from uncomfortable pelvic pressure to leakage of urine. Pelvic organ prolapse isn't inevitable, however. Kegel exercises can help delay or even prevent pelvic organ prolapse and the related symptoms.
Kegel exercises — along with counseling and sex therapy — may also be helpful for women who have persistent problems reaching orgasm.

How to do Kegel exercises

It takes diligence to identify your pelvic floor muscles and learn how to contract and relax them. Here are some pointers:

• Find the right muscles. Insert a finger inside your vagina and try to squeeze the surrounding muscles. You should feel your vagina tighten and your pelvic floor move upward. Then relax your muscles and feel your pelvic floor return to the starting position. You can also try to stop the flow of urine when you urinate. If you succeed, you've got the basic move. Don't make a habit of starting and stopping your urine stream, though. Doing Kegel exercises with a full bladder or while emptying your bladder can actually weaken the muscles, as well as lead to incomplete emptying of the bladder — which increases the risk of a urinary tract infection.
• Perfect your technique. Once you've identified your pelvic floor muscles, empty your bladder and sit or lie down. Contract your pelvic floor muscles, hold the contraction for five seconds, then relax for five seconds. Try it four or five times in a row. Work up to keeping the muscles contracted for 10 seconds at a time, relaxing for 10 seconds between contractions.
• Maintain your focus. For best results, focus on tightening only your pelvic floor muscles. Be careful not to flex the muscles in your abdomen, thighs or buttocks. Avoid holding your breath. Instead, breathe freely during the exercises.
• Repeat three times a day. Aim for at least three sets of 10 repetitions a day. You might make a practice of fitting in a set every time you do a routine task, such as checking email, commuting to work, preparing meals or watching TV.
  

  When you're having trouble

  If you're having trouble doing Kegel exercises, don't be embarrassed to ask for help. Your doctor or other health care provider can give you important feedback so that you learn to isolate and exercise the correct muscles.
  In some cases, biofeedback training may help. During a biofeedback session, your doctor or other health care provider inserts a small monitoring probe into your vagina or places adhesive electrodes on the skin outside your vagina or anus. When you contract your pelvic floor muscles, you'll see a measurement on a monitor that lets you know whether you've successfully contracted the right muscles. You'll also be able to see how long you hold the contraction.
  If necessary, electrical stimulation is sometimes an option. During this procedure, your doctor or other health care provider applies a small electrical current to your pelvic floor muscles. The current makes the muscles contract, which produces a buzzing feeling. Once you get used to the sensation, you'll probably be able to duplicate the exercise on your own.
  

  When to expect results

  If you do your Kegel exercises faithfully, you can expect to see results — such as less frequent urine leakage — within about eight to 12 weeks. For some women, the improvement is dramatic. For others, Kegel exercises simply keep problems from getting any worse. For continued benefits, make Kegel exercises a permanent part of your daily routine.
  
  By Mayo  
  

  Female pelvic floor muscles

Romance Can't Wait for Ideal Weight

Have you put your sex life on hold while you wait for those last 10 (or even 100) pounds to disappear? While losing weight and getting healthier can definitely get those urges going again, depriving yourself of romance in the meantime is not a good idea.
Statistics show that people who have sex regularly tend to have stronger immune systems, are less likely to be depressed, and live longer. Marriages in which the kitchen has not replaced the bedroom also tend to last longer and be more satisfying.
"Sex is fun," says Hanne Blank, author of Big Big Love: A Sourcebook on Sex for People of Size and Those Who Love Them. "Sex is good for you. Sex is good for PMS. Sex is part of what we do socially as human beings."
And while movies, television, and advertising would have us believe that sex is only for the svelte, keep in mind that statistics show two-thirds of Americans are overweight or obese. Yet people keep getting married. Babies keep getting born. Someone out there is still "doing it" and presumably enjoying the heck out of it, weight or no weight.

Who's In Charge -- Hollywood or You?

"We are just on the wrong side of the world and the wrong era," says Rina Valan-Hudson, who founded a company called Fantasia Home Parties to bring women of size together to buy the latest in marital aids and lingerie. She says today's "real woman" would go over big (so to speak) on the curve-loving island of Fiji or in the era of the Baroque artist Peter Paul Rubens.
Of course, Hollywood and Madison Avenue don't help, with all the Size 0s running around.
"This is a very prejudiced society against weight," says Hale Dwoskin, author of the motivational bestseller, The Sedona Method. The method is not a diet, but a way of programming negatives out of your life. Thinking you're fat, and therefore unattractive, would be one of those negatives.
"Let's face it," Blank says, "body parts are body parts. There are only so many ways you can rearrange them. The problem is not the sex, but getting to the sex, meaning getting past people's preconceptions."
Those people, she adds, include the heavy person him -- or herself. "We do a good job of policing ourselves," she says. "There are plenty of men and women who like the feel of a more substantial person."
"We are obsessed with bodies!" Dwoskin says. "Everyone has secret shame and disapproval of some part of their body. No one wants to get naked, and this includes thin people. Everyone can be free of this."

How to Break Free

Dwoskin's method of letting go of stress and negative feelings is based on three questions. Once you take a look at why you are not having sex (fear, self-disgust, anticipation of what your partner might feel), you ask yourself:

• "Could I let this go?"
• "Will I let this go?"
• Then: "When?"

If you bring your underlying emotions to the surface, you become more "present," he says. "Everyone wants a date or bedmate who is present and engaged."
Here are some other ideas for getting past the negative feelings that can inhibit romance:

• Focus on parts of your body you do like. Befriend your graceful hands or strong arms. Appreciate the curves of your slim ankles.
• Accept yourself as you are. This doesn't mean you can't change. But wanting to change something, Dwoskin says, keeps us focused on the negative (the thing we want to change). Change comes when you focus on the positive. "Self-acceptance makes it easier to change."
• Remember, you are perfect, even if you don't think so. You will also be perfect when you lose 25 pounds, but not more perfect.
• Quit seeking approval -- or, the flip side, expecting disapproval. Could you do that? Would you? When?
• Just let go. Dwoskin teaches the art of surrender -- and where is that more appropriate than in bed?
• Blank, who has also written a book of larger-size erotica, says you should suspend your disbelief. Yes, that cute guy may be talking to you! That sexy babe may indeed want to buy you a drink! "Look at all the married people," she laughs. "They weren't all models when they got married and then put on weight." 

If you still can't get past what you see in the mirror, Valan-Hudson reminds us is that vision is just one of the five senses. Heavier people may be orally oriented (in sex, this can be intriguing, yes?). Tactilely, they possess interesting curves and sensual spots. "You can really get into the touch thing," she says. Lotions and scents can tease the sense of smell.
The sense of hearing can also be sensual -- especially if the two lovers are talking openly about their likes and dislikes. Married people, especially, need to communicate more about sex, Dwoskin says. "This is the sexiest thing you can do."
No time for a heart-to-heart at night? Try for a morning delight. "Honey, you know, it kind of hurts when you do that." You get the idea. Dwoskin also recommends not concentrating on your partner so much, but taking pleasure in your own sensations. If your partner is satisfying you, he or she will be satisfied, he says. The key is to stop worrying about that bulge that might be showing (which is probably the farthest thing from the mind of your partner, who is having sex, after all) and start feeling the sex. "Let go of guilt, fear, shame and self-consciousness," he says.
If you are shy about sex, Valan-Hudson suggests reviving your enjoyment of touch. Get some massages, facials, pedicures. (She also recommends strategically placed pillows when you do get to the main event. )

For those who are just getting into (or getting back into) the dating game, Valan-Hudson says, finding your romance groove can be a long process. You have nothing to lose by trying, though, she says. "If you are fun-loving, be fun-loving," she recommends. "Make eye contact. Not all men or women like a skinny partner. Everyone has an ego; pay attention to the person."
And once you get started down the road to romance, it becomes a healthy cycle. "The more sex you get, the more you will want," Valan-Hudson notes.

Back to Those Sexy Scanties

Buying new lingerie can make you feel sexier. But Valan-Hudson says heavier women often think they need to buy the sort of getups you might see in an X-rated film -- garter belts and the like. Of course, you can get this type of outfit; even Victoria's Secret is carrying realistic sizes these days. Or you could create your own sexy style.
"My first recommendation is buy a good, sexy bra," Valan-Hudson says. "This is your base, then you can add a couple of items on top. A nightie or peignoir, perhaps. "Go with what makes you feel sexy," she says (he might even prefer your Scooby Doo t-shirt!).
Emphasize your favorite body part. If you have great legs, get a slinky gown cut "up to there." If see-through is not you, get a drapey silk gown, cut on the bias. But don't wear anything that makes you uncomfortable, emotionally or physically. If you do buy a bustier, make sure you can breathe in it (breathlessness should come later).
You could wear some of this under a robe -- or even a raincoat, Valan-Hudson laughs. "Leave something to be discovered."
What you might (re)discover is how much fun sex is. "I tell people the five secrets to great sex are communication, communication, communication, a sense of humor, and lubrication," laughs Blank.

 By Jean Lawrence
  ©2007 WebMD Inc. All rights reserved.

¿20 Razones Para Hacer El Amor, Cual Es La Tuya?

1.- El sexo es divertido, excitante y una de las pocas cosas de la vida que es gratis.

2.- Cuando la mujer lo practica produce doble cantidad de estrógeno, la hormona que mantiene la piel suave y da brillo al cabello, retarda el proceso de la osteoporosis y puede proteger contra la hipertensión.

3.- Elimina posibilidades de sufrir dermatitis, erupciones y manchas cutáneas: transpirar limpia los poros y es saludable para la piel.

4.- Al hacer el amor se pueden quemar hasta 560 calorías, y eso equivale a hora y media de andar en una bicicleta.

5.- Es uno de los ejercicios más completos que existen: entona todos los músculos del cuerpo.

6.- Es una cura instantánea para la depresión leve: hace circular la endorfina por el sistema sanguíneo, produciendo una agradable sensación de euforia y bienestar.

7.- El cuerpo sexualmente activo segrega más cantidad de sustancias llamadas feromonas, que atraen a otras personas con similares intenciones.

8.- El sexo mejora el rendimiento deportivo: la noche antes dormirá mejor.

9.- Un abrazo amoroso ayuda a tener más confianza en sí misma/o: saberse deseada/o es suficiente para quererse más.

10.- Es el mejor tranquilizante del mundo, diez veces más efectivo que Valium, Diazepam, etc.

11.- Besar a diario aleja del consultorio dental: estimula la saliva, que elimina partículas de comida de los dientes, hace disminuir el nivel ácido que causa las caries y la placa dental.

12.- Alivia los dolores de cabeza, al relajar la tensión que constriñe los vasos sanguíneos cerebrales.

13.- El sexo es un antihistamínico natural: puede destapar una nariz bloqueada.

14.- Practicado con regularidad, mejora notablemente la salud mental; saca a relucir las emociones, incluso la risa que alivia el estrés, eliminando el exceso de adrenalina.

15.- El frecuente contacto sexual hace los labios más deseables: les da mejor forma, color y apariencia.

16.- Si padece insomnio no tome píldoras: los cambios bioquímicos que ocurren durante el acto sexual provocan lasitud y sueño enseguida.

17.- Uno de los mejores antídotos para la tensión nerviosa es hacer el amor: elimina el pánico y la ansiedad, estará menos irritable y le afectará menos la rutina diaria.

18.- Las noches de pasión mitigan la amenaza de problemas cardíacos, siempre y cuando no vengan después de una opípara cena.

19.- Hacer el amor puede aliviar la artritis, mejora la circulación y la producción de glóbulos rojos.

20.- Ayuda a prevenir la celulitis al activar el tránsito en el cuerpo del fluido linfático, que se encarga de eliminar bacterias, toxinas y otras sustancias que se acumulan especialmente en los muslos.

Entonces, ¿qué hace ahí sentada/o?

This Sex Position - Why We Like It ...

Why We Like It She Is Sucking His Pole And He Is Licking The "Pearl Zone"


"If you take care of mama she will take care of you big daddy..."
My editor asked me, "Why do we like 69 with girls"? I knew the answer was much bigger than an orgasm.

Personally I have never experienced climaxed from 69 but would not trade the 69 experiences for all the 70's in the world. There are many 69 positions as well that are exciting and anyone with an oral fetish knows it is insatiable - the giving and receiving a 69 offers.

If you don't really know what a sixty-nine (69) is then I will explain that first. A 69 is when two people are servicing each other at the same time. He is performing cunnilingus and she is performing fellatio. She is sucking his pole and he is licking the "pearl zone". Eating at the Y, schlobenzeenobin, muff diving, polish the knob, PERFORMING ORAL!


Do Sex Unto Others, As You Would Have Them Do Sex Unto You

Why we enjoy this double digit sexual position is a combination of an insatiable double threat, giving and receiving. Two things can not occupy the same space at the same time. You can enjoy something and give pleasure but this level is purely recreational. I don't know that many people who have simultaneous orgasms during the 69 position. What we are essentially doing is licking each other.

I say, "Stay focused" because you can have fun just trying to get her off without focusing on your blowjob. While she is sucking the life out of your penis and your ass cheeks are starting to deflate, just stay focused on licking and munching that little slit with all your slobbery might.

Focus on the clitoris and massaging the lips, become the constant gardener. Don't focus on what she is doing right or wrong, just do your job because what could she possibly be doing wrong if you are having a 69 with her so pay her back with a good clit sucking! Besides if you take care of mama she will take care of you big daddy.


68, 69, 70

Some good 69 positions will start with my absolute favorite position, her on top with her legs spread over my face and her ass up in the air while she polishes my knob. This position offers so much in the way of good breathing techniques as well as offering complete unhindered access to the ass.

If your hands wander like mine do then you know you need that ass spread like the Red Sea to get your proper comeuppance. You gotta work fella and that mean lips, tongue, fingers or whatever it takes. This position is good because you get to lie on your lazy ass while she pumps for oil.

This is also a good position "inverted" with her on her back because you just get to bury your face in it while she gets a neck ache bobbing for apples. Many girls want to do it on their side because the can suck with greater ease, but this is the worst position for getting her legs spread properly for a good licking.

If you are the 69 instigator then make sure you are comfortable because we all know that it takes longer to make her cum than you so put in the work in a comfortable spot. If you are really kinky then there is the vertical 69 where you are standing up and holding her up by her thighs and suspending her in mid air while you munch her kitty cat. She will ultimately get a head rush and there is the remote possibility that you could drop her on her head.


Sigmund Freud

Psychologically this is a purely decedent act. It is completely "insatiable" meaning it is rarely the act that will provide "satisfaction" during the act as intercourse might. It is the combination of all the senses during intercourse that provide climax, and even when you don't use all the senses the one common denominator to reaching climax is concentration.

When performing oral while receiving oral it is difficult to manage both sides of the brain equally from receiving sensation to concentrating on forfeiting "technique". If you can successfully give her an orgasm while she gives you one at the same time then the two of you probably come when the wind blows.

The insatiable is obvious; eating something that you can't really eat. Licking it over and over again waiting to hear the moans and groans of positive feedback to let you know you are on the right track. The act of performing oral on a woman involves all the senses.

You taste her, smell her, touch her, look at her and wait until you hear her cum. A woman knows when I am going to blow because I yell the same thing every time as I climax, "Release the hounds bitch"!

I like to do a 69 when I know there is an element of getting caught! If I am sharing a ski lodge or camping with friends or out at the river and I score I like to pick locations that have that danger element. So when someone asks me what my favorite 69 position is I will tell them, "outside".

I wish I could have told my readers something more Freudian about "why" we like to 69. But it really comes down to two things: girls like to suck penis and have their coochie licked… God love them! The 69 was developed when people realized they had "all night long" to have sex and wanted more than just conventional sex.

Back in the Stone Age some guy said, "Hey Betty, put that in my mouth while this is in your mouth, I want to try something". The rest is history.

 By Jackson Morris

El sexo y la rutina

Nadie duda que la “rutina” forma parte de la vida del ser humano desde su nacimiento. Gradualmente el ser humano a lo largo de su desarrollo entra en contacto con su rutina, en el día a día. Hábitos de higiene, alimentación, sueño, tareas domésticas... forman parte de la rutina diaria de un individuo sea niño, adolescente o adulto. A medida que crece, el ser humano adquiere nuevas responsabilidades (ir a la escuela, trabajar) que lo llevarán a nuevas rutinas.

Lo mismo ocurre con el sexo en las relaciones personales. Las personas se conocen y entablan una relación. Cuando se comienza una relación, las personas tienden a ser aventureras, románticas, creativas, reflejo de sus personalidades y deseos. Fantasías, paseos, películas, viajes... son realizados con el objetivo de aproximar a la pareja y profundizar en la relación. El sexo es divertido, hay predominio de la calidad de las relaciones. En esta etapa, la pareja está tan involucrada por sus emociones e instintos, que no existe tiempo ni espacio para que se establezca una rutina.

Con el paso del tiempo se observa que esa misma pareja, antes tan activa, comienza a vivir una rutina. Las fantasías, paseos, películas, viajes... disminuyen o desaparecen por completo resultando un acomodo de la pareja. El sexo también entra en la rutina. El sexo aún puede ser divertido pero se observa que existe la disminución en la frecuencia de las relaciones.

Las parejas en algún momento entran en esa rutina. Los motivos son de lo más variados: profesión (exceso de trabajo), falta de diálogo, relación desgastada, hijos, estudios (necesidades de reciclarse para continuar en el mercado), la propia acomodación de la pareja, entre otros.

Los motivos mencionados forman parte de la vida de hombres y mujeres actuales. Las mujeres son las que más se resienten en esta etapa, o por lo menos, se manifiestan con más claridad en relación a lo que sienten y perciben en cuanto a la rutina. La mayoría siente falta del romanticismo que quedó atrás.

Independiente del motivo de una pareja para caer en la rutina, el hecho es que ambos deben concienciarse de que necesitan y pueden incrementar la relación, esto incluye el sexo. Un poco de romance con cariños y caricias es bienvenido en cualquier momento de sus vidas. Una cena a dos con música, bailar con su pareja es muy revitalizante (si no puede salir por los niños, hágalos dormir y después cene a solas con su pareja).

La creatividad es fundamental para quebrar la rutina. Películas románticas, eróticas o pornográficas pueden ser inspiradoras. Un striptease particular para su compañero (a) vale la pena. Un regalo inesperado, tarjetas sorpresa con mensajes picantes, una invitación inesperada para un fin de semana para dos son algunas ideas que pueden sorprender al otro e incrementar la relación personal y principalmente sexual. Lo importante es tener iniciativa.

Kelly Cristine Barbosa Cherulli

Sexóloga

¿Cómo los padres deben actuar frente a las preguntas sexuales de los hijos pequeños.?

 Cuando hay niños en la familia una de las grandes preocupaciones es con respecto a la sexualidad de los hijos, en cómo ofrecer una buena educación sexual.   Muchas veces los niños sorprenden a sus padres con las famosas preguntas sobre sexo, y  muchas veces dejan a esos padres sin palabras en el momento de responder.  Los niños sólo quieren satisfacer una curiosidad que para ellos es simple y natural, pero que a veces causan constreñimiento a los padres por no saber como responder  esas preguntas.

 Sabemos de la fundamental importancia que la educación sexual posee y de su trayectoria, que sin duda alguna comienza en casa puesto que se vuelve relevante también su comienzo antes que el niño ingrese a la escuela.  Todo el conocimiento que irá obteniendo debe ser debidamente obtenido en la adolescencia, un periodo de descubrimientos, que  traerá y ahora con mucha más  intensidad, todo lo que fue aprendido y enseñado sobre la sexualidad de los jóvenes, que estarán con las hormonas super sensibles.

 Los padres generalmente se preocupan de la sexualidad de sus hijos, cuando estos ya están comenzando la pubertad, dejando pasar el tiempo más precioso para ese tipo de aprendizaje.
 En lo que se refiere a la educación sexual de los hijos, lo que es importante destacar es que las respuestas dadas a las preguntas de los hijos no son tan fundamentales en cuanto al acompañamiento y la evolución de su sexualidad (de los hijos) desde el comienzo,  para que exista toda una comprensión de las diferentes fases, esto contribuye a que no ocurran interferencias inadecuadas.
 

Es en el desarrollo de los aspectos de la vida del niño que va aprendiendo, observando y copiando las actitudes de los padres y/o cuidadores, que el niño va sacando informaciones y almacenándolas, para posteriormente  seleccionarlas y organizarlas.

Para que una buena educación sexual sea dada por los padres, estos deben tener un grado de superación, de los “tabús” que los cercan y del comportamiento sexual humano, que muchas veces aún son objetivo de ignorancias por parte de los adultos con respecto a la propria sexualidad.
Aún existen ideas equivocadas sobre la sexualidad que acaban interfiriendo en una buena y adecuada educación sexual.  Vea algunas de ellas:

· La vida sexual ocurre solamente en la pubertad;
· Masturbación es pecado, es feo y hace mal;
· Juegos homosexuales en la infancia llevan a la homosexualidad en la vida adulta;
· Virginidad es fundamental para una condición feliz de la vida conyugal.
 

En cuanto a la escuela, corresponde a ella complementar la educación sexual de los niños que debe comenzar en la casa, no diferenciándose de los otros aspectos de la vida del niño.
 Por más aptos que los padres sean para dar las informaciones necesarias, las dudas surgen, y ellas siempre existen. Vamos a verificar algunas de las preguntas más comunes de los niños en sus diferentes fases.  

Entre los dos y tres años de edad, los niños quieren saber sobre el origen de los bebés y las diferencias entre los sexos;  Entre los tres y cuatro años de edad, los niños quieren saber sobre los hechos vinculados al nacimiento, y de ahí en delante concentran su curiosidad sobre el padre y la técnica de reproducción.  Claro que eso no sirve de regla, pues los niños se difieren, existe la influencia del medio ambiente en que viven, y la curiosidad en sí  de ser breve o no.  Sin embargo no  deben ser anticipadas las informaciones cuando los niños formulen las preguntas que son siempre objetivas.

 Cómo dar las explicaciones es otro punto importante, pues es necesario ser primeramente espontaneo, pero eso dependerá mucho, y ya lo vimos, de la forma de como cada individuo vivió los aspectos de su sexualidad.  En verdad, no existen reglas para dar informaciones sobre sexo, basta tener espontaneidad, actuar naturalmente y con claridad, usando siempre los términos empleados por los niños, pues les facilita el entendimiento, por lo tanto, siguiendo el itinerario adecuado de la información, aunque con términos que los niños entienden para ofrecer el contenido sincero de la información.
 

Los libros de historias con dibujos también son bastante utilizados por algunos padres como auxiliares en la educación sexual de sus hijos, por lo tanto se debe destacar que jamás ese tipo de material debe ser sustituido por la información personal, dada con afectividad, requisito imprescindible para un buen establecimiento del vínculo padre-hijo, que sólo beneficiará la educación sexual y todo el proceso de desarrollo del niño, basándose en el respeto y en la confianza.

Adriana Sommer
Sexóloga